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Domestic Violence and Measures!

November 20, 2019 | Dr. Shahid Amin

The cases of domestic violence are on a rise. Every day we listen about the heinous crimes of Domestic Violence. Domestic violence is not a physical violence alone. Domestic violence is any behavior the purpose of which is to gain power and control over a spouse, partner or intimate family member. Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain control over another intimate partner (United States Department of Justice Office on Violence against Women). Many types of abuse are included in the definition of domestic violence like physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, economic abuse, psychological abuse, threats, stalking and cyber stalking etc.
Kashmir is not an exception and has been gripped badly by this evil. Our sisters, daughters and mothers are mostly the sufferers and are always found crying for justice. In a recent tragic incident in South Kashmir in Tral Pulwama, a sister namely Nusrat Jan died after she was allegedly burnt alive by her husband and her in-laws. She has a five-year-old son and a three year-old daughter. She had suffered more than seventy percent burn injuries and was battling for life for five days at SMHS Srinagar. She made tragic revelation before hours of her death that how she was burnt alive by her husband and her in laws. She also exposed that they used to torture her mercilessly and were always demanding dowry.
How humans on Earth can be so cruel and merciless? We as a society are turning more greedy and brutal. We as Kashmiris were never known for such inhuman and brutal acts. Infact we were proud of our culture and people were filled with emotions and compassion. Such heartrending incidents are really a blot on our society. We can’t afford to see our beloved sisters suffer when they have a highest position in our society. Justice must be given to the two innocent kids of the deceased mother.
There is a change needed in the mindset of the people in our society. We encourage our daughters to take a lead in their families. But when our families receive the daughter in laws, they are never given that welcome and hence treated differently. They are always treated as daughter in laws not our own daughters. They are expected to behave and talk in limits. They can’t move and act freely. There is a weakness and the clash of our own arguments. We feel proud when our daughters have control over their husband’s pocket. But when our daughter in law has a control over our son’s pocket, then he is considered as a bad person. We also treat our daughter in law as an ugly character. We can find baseless justifications in practice and that is something based on our ravenousness and dishonesty in our character.
Are we selling our sisters and daughters to the families? Not at all. They are the world’s precious treasure to the parents and need to be treated with respect and honor. They are the blessings to this world. The societies will collapse without this gender. They make our lives peaceful and entertaining. They make this world meaningful.
Domestic abuse shatters lives & tears families apart. We don’t have to give any space to it and have to show full commitment to tackle this horrific crime. Why we are not encouraging our sisters and daughters to speak loudly against the domestic violence? We have to empower them to speak louder. They must not tolerate the offenders for long. The world will not end if the relationships and understandings didn’t go long and fail.
There is no wrong if our sisters and daughters come back to our families after the failed relationships. There is no wrong in seeking their divorce and welcome them back to our families. It is better than to see them alive rather than force them to suffer the tortures. We need to welcome them and boost their confidence rather than curse them to come back. The terrible cases like Sister Nusrat Jan have given us a deep shock how greedy our society has become. It has badly exposed us how week and unsafe our daughters and sisters can be in their families. They sacrifice their age, beauty and energy to make their families better and take great care of their kids but have to suffer the wrath and tortures. What worse can be seen prevailing in a society than when the protectors become greedy and killers?
The cases of domestic violence need to be identified early and to be highly exposed. It is better early than late when the problem becomes worse. There must be a social boycott against the families who are greedy and involved in any type of domestic violence. Our police and administration must not go easy in such cases and be harsh to the culprits. Most of the efforts from government, police and other agencies have gone into combating robbery, other type of violence and drug dealing etc. But dealing with domestic violence should also be given a high priority. Efforts must be high to educate the community about the domestic violence. Schools, health care, workplaces etc. should initiate domestic violence programs at a large level. At individual levels we need to be the change makers in our community. The citizens and the social organizations must highly condemn brutal acts of domestic violence. If such crimes are taken on a lighter note, then our existence as a society is at the near end.
Author is a Assistant Professor, ITM University Gwalior.
Email:dr.shahidamin15@gmail.com

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Domestic Violence and Measures!

November 20, 2019 | Dr. Shahid Amin

The cases of domestic violence are on a rise. Every day we listen about the heinous crimes of Domestic Violence. Domestic violence is not a physical violence alone. Domestic violence is any behavior the purpose of which is to gain power and control over a spouse, partner or intimate family member. Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain control over another intimate partner (United States Department of Justice Office on Violence against Women). Many types of abuse are included in the definition of domestic violence like physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, economic abuse, psychological abuse, threats, stalking and cyber stalking etc.
Kashmir is not an exception and has been gripped badly by this evil. Our sisters, daughters and mothers are mostly the sufferers and are always found crying for justice. In a recent tragic incident in South Kashmir in Tral Pulwama, a sister namely Nusrat Jan died after she was allegedly burnt alive by her husband and her in-laws. She has a five-year-old son and a three year-old daughter. She had suffered more than seventy percent burn injuries and was battling for life for five days at SMHS Srinagar. She made tragic revelation before hours of her death that how she was burnt alive by her husband and her in laws. She also exposed that they used to torture her mercilessly and were always demanding dowry.
How humans on Earth can be so cruel and merciless? We as a society are turning more greedy and brutal. We as Kashmiris were never known for such inhuman and brutal acts. Infact we were proud of our culture and people were filled with emotions and compassion. Such heartrending incidents are really a blot on our society. We can’t afford to see our beloved sisters suffer when they have a highest position in our society. Justice must be given to the two innocent kids of the deceased mother.
There is a change needed in the mindset of the people in our society. We encourage our daughters to take a lead in their families. But when our families receive the daughter in laws, they are never given that welcome and hence treated differently. They are always treated as daughter in laws not our own daughters. They are expected to behave and talk in limits. They can’t move and act freely. There is a weakness and the clash of our own arguments. We feel proud when our daughters have control over their husband’s pocket. But when our daughter in law has a control over our son’s pocket, then he is considered as a bad person. We also treat our daughter in law as an ugly character. We can find baseless justifications in practice and that is something based on our ravenousness and dishonesty in our character.
Are we selling our sisters and daughters to the families? Not at all. They are the world’s precious treasure to the parents and need to be treated with respect and honor. They are the blessings to this world. The societies will collapse without this gender. They make our lives peaceful and entertaining. They make this world meaningful.
Domestic abuse shatters lives & tears families apart. We don’t have to give any space to it and have to show full commitment to tackle this horrific crime. Why we are not encouraging our sisters and daughters to speak loudly against the domestic violence? We have to empower them to speak louder. They must not tolerate the offenders for long. The world will not end if the relationships and understandings didn’t go long and fail.
There is no wrong if our sisters and daughters come back to our families after the failed relationships. There is no wrong in seeking their divorce and welcome them back to our families. It is better than to see them alive rather than force them to suffer the tortures. We need to welcome them and boost their confidence rather than curse them to come back. The terrible cases like Sister Nusrat Jan have given us a deep shock how greedy our society has become. It has badly exposed us how week and unsafe our daughters and sisters can be in their families. They sacrifice their age, beauty and energy to make their families better and take great care of their kids but have to suffer the wrath and tortures. What worse can be seen prevailing in a society than when the protectors become greedy and killers?
The cases of domestic violence need to be identified early and to be highly exposed. It is better early than late when the problem becomes worse. There must be a social boycott against the families who are greedy and involved in any type of domestic violence. Our police and administration must not go easy in such cases and be harsh to the culprits. Most of the efforts from government, police and other agencies have gone into combating robbery, other type of violence and drug dealing etc. But dealing with domestic violence should also be given a high priority. Efforts must be high to educate the community about the domestic violence. Schools, health care, workplaces etc. should initiate domestic violence programs at a large level. At individual levels we need to be the change makers in our community. The citizens and the social organizations must highly condemn brutal acts of domestic violence. If such crimes are taken on a lighter note, then our existence as a society is at the near end.
Author is a Assistant Professor, ITM University Gwalior.
Email:dr.shahidamin15@gmail.com


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