Love: What a strong relationship needs

Amanullah Khan
November 13, 2017 OPINION 222 Views

“I have slept with you all night long while the dark earth spins with the living and the dead, and on waking suddenly in the midst of the shadow my arm encircled your waist. Neither night nor the sleep could separate us.”
Love is a universal emotion that has becomethe basis of marriage and family for many societies, Love and attraction appear to be universal emotions. Romantic love refers to that which perpetuates gender stereotypes of the breadwinning father and homemaking mother these roles remain persistent throughout the relationship. It is a love that is supposed to stand the test of time, enduring all hardship. Romantic love emphasizes being in love with a certain individual, “the one.” On the other hand, there is confluent love that is more flexible with the roles that individuals play, and it emphasizes a relationship in which the growth of each person is important. The process of two individuals connecting in a meaningful way is particularly fascinating. Love and attraction in the Western world is seen as foundational to the formation and continuation of family, the basic bond between families. An ideology common to Western society is “Love at First Sight.” In order to form a relationship, there must be some type of attraction, either physically or on a personality level. Initial attraction to a potential mate is highly associated with physical attractiveness.
Physical beauty, good inner personality traits and having unique romantic experiences are the common factors leading to inter-personal attraction according to most of the couples. They emphasized the notion of “love at first sight” wherethere is a sudden and irrational attraction which makes them fall in love. They would also expect that the other is perfect, confirming the “Halo effect”. After that, they would eventually reveal their inner-side such as their personality. Special memorable events such as having the first dinner and going to theme parks would then reinforce their attraction and increase the bonding between the partners. Besides,intimacy, loyalty, similarity, sense of security and emotional support are the crucial factors making a relationship sustainable and satisfactory as recognized by the couples.While loyalty includes trustfulness, staying true and respect, similarity refers to havingcommon interests and goals. Moreover, economic security is especially important for married couples, whereas emotional support such as caring and staying optimistic arebeneficial and more appealing to young dating couples.
To recap, the “love is blind” in essence, claims that love generate soverly sanguine views of close partners and relationships. Thus, unless people view their relationships through rose-colored glasses, individuals may find it difficult, if not impossible, to commit themselves to serious long-term relationships or to actively cultivate relationship happiness. Relationship happiness and the maintenance of illusions, thus, go hand in hand. A plausible prima facie case, however, can also be made for the “relationship reality” model. This model proposes that individuals should typically be motivated to view and understand their partners and relationships accurately, and that a firm graspon reality is required for healthy personal and relationship functioning. Moreover, theway in which primary relationships are central to well-being, which is used to supportthe “love is blind” model, can also be used in support of this model. Closerelationships can produce either long-term happiness or misery; thus, individuals should be powerfully motivated to use their cognitive talents to the full in divining thetrue nature of their partners and relationships. The extent to which judgments of potential lpartners as honest, warm, ambitious, or trustworthy, are accurate wouldseem have profound implications for the future well-being of the individual.
If romantic love intense, engaging, and sexual does exist in long-term relationships (and does not just turn into companionship), is it associated with general well-being. We have seen that romantic love seems to be a good thing for the relationship. Nevertheless, is this just a folie-a-deux? Is it also good for the individuals involved and those around them? A number of studies have found that just being married is associated with subjective well-being. However, problems related to marriage (e.g., jealousy, control, and domestic violence) might suggest that a great deal of obsession in marriage might be maladaptive, or at the least distracting, steering a passionate couple away from fulfilling parental and occupational duties, socializing with friends, family, and the community.
Love and marriage are important elements of life. They affect the overall mental healthiness of citizens in urban societies as they help mitigate stresses and negative eperceptions of the working population. We need to prepare and make ourselves bothinternally and externally energetic to attract people, as well as do more excitingactivities to sustain relationship.
The Passionate marriage: You can increase desire in your marriage
Doing something different. Relationship grooves are the result of mind-numbing monotony and seeing your partner as one-dimensional (only as a mother, rather than as a mother and as a woman with sexual needs). Being a little less predictable can plant the seeds of desire by increasing your mystique.
Educate yourself about what turns your spouse/partner on. How can you accomplish this?
Ask him/her. It can be as simple and straightforward as, “What turns you on?”
Role play in and outside of the bedroom: One couple I worked with used to go to a grocery store and pretend they were strangers meeting for the first time, with the evening ending in
passionate love making (and this couple has been married for over thirty years!). When you role play, you bring back the mystery and novelty that often fuels passion early on in relationships.
¬¬¬Since the heaven and earth were created,
You were made for me and i was made for you and i will not let you go…

Writer is M.Tech. Student LPU Jalandhar

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