To understand the value of people and things around us, we must imagine their non-existence. The fog clears and we see cleanly how people and things were important for us, yet we did not treat them as worthy and were incapable of appreciating them. Profusion and constant presence make us forgetful about the importance of people and things.

My cousin was getting married, and my mom went there to attend and bless the marriage ceremony. Being only two family members at home, I showed my reluctance, but after the bride herself insisted that she come, mom decided to go. Her stay extended to five days. Parents and grandparents, by their maturity, experience and knowledge, supervise such ceremonies and ensure every traditional rite is practised so that blessings may shower on the bride and groom. My mom filled my cousin’s home but emptied mine, for her presence had shone on everything I have. Homes are not important; the people who inhabit them are. It becomes evident once the inhabitants leave. I felt her absence so badly. When loved ones go, their presence becomes stronger. When she was at home, she was somewhere; when she went, I felt her presence everywhere. She stayed in one room, but after her departure I felt her in every room.
My assumptions were false. I had thought one can easily live without human companionship, but I was wrong. Reading books, busying oneself with mobile phones, sleeping, eating new dishes after various experiments, and doing multiple other things to distract oneself from the thought of not having one’s mother around do not suffice and cannot mitigate the need for mothers. Everything I did for those days reminded me of my mom. The law of association was in full swing. I experienced loneliness, and it was really intolerable. I talked a lot to my fiancée for those five days, yet I still felt I was alone. The presence of our parents is so etched into our lives that we never feel comfortable in their absence, even if we have everything else we need. It is important for a healthy and peaceful life to have people around you—not just for cooking, cleaning, washing and other chores, but for being there to overshadow the desperate thoughts of loneliness. We never feel lonely unless our thoughts give us the realisation that we are alone. Thoughts are very obnoxious sometimes. They frighten us and we feel desperate.
Those five days I understood that habit is stronger than love, because sometimes we miss people less because we love them and more because we have developed the habit of seeing them, talking to them and having them around all the time. I really felt my home was a desolation. It appeared that my mom had carried home with her and left behind a dilapidated structure that lacked appeal, warmth, peace and comfort. I felt my favourite dish was unsavoury because my mom was not sitting with me for dinner. I felt my home unwelcoming—the same home I had loved before. It is people who radiate love and happiness, not things. Things around us appear valuable, loving and comforting only because of people. A house is a home only because of parents who radiate love, care and happiness. My home turned uninhabitable. I used to be impatient to reach home, but for those five days I did not want to return from work. Parents truly make our house a peaceful and appealing place. Everyone wants to return home from the day’s labour because it soothes the day’s fatigue, reinvigorates us and prepares us for another hard day.
My mom had never stayed even for a single night away from home. She had not even gone to any such ceremonies before. I was transfixed. I had outlandish meditations. I often let loose my imagination and thought of a life after her. She is an old woman of about eighty, and people usually die when they enter their dotage. Is this a test for me—a realisation that one has to live alone when close ones leave? Is it a preparation the divine wants me to have so that I may cope with her loss? I believe in insinuations. I did not believe in them earlier, but over time I developed the tendency to rely on them, and they prove true. Sometimes you are alarmed before any tragedy knocks at your door.
I always remind myself that people do not stop living when their loved ones depart. I madly loved my dad, and when he passed away in 2013 I felt broken into pieces. But life does not stop, challenges do not disappear; one has to live with the pain but not give in. This is reality, and I know it well. If your mom is away, you need to manage the affairs of the home and maintain the everyday tasks. When mothers are in our homes we rely on them for everything—from love to cooking and every domestic chore—but once they leave, a person needs to stand on his own feet and begin taking control of his own life, relying on himself alone. One’s loss has always awakened the profit of another. Unless one faces loss, failure and suffering, one does not awaken, and no major change occurs. Since I lost my dad I became stronger and could handle bigger responsibilities for my mom and my other siblings.

Email:-------------------azaadbhat28@gmail.com