We as a world is going to celebrate International women’s Day on 08 March 2021 under the theme of “Choose To Change: A challenged world is an alert world and from challenge comes change”.

We should celebrate it and highlight the importance of women’s in our existence, but not for only this day. Celebrating on March 8 every year, this day is symbolic of the historic journey women around the world have taken to better their lives. It comes as a reminder that while a lot has been achieved, the journey is long and a lot more needs to be done.
Let’s solicit, focus and contemplate on this day apart from what we are doing from a long history as a groove.
1. We need women who are so confident of their self-worth and value that they would never fall for or choose anyone unworthy of them. She should be so educated that she scares the ignorant man away, so humble and down to earth that her personality filters out the creeps.so, we should raise our daughters with self-worth and sons with emotional intelligence to recognize that in the women they choose.
2. Sisters if you don't want to work after marriage and support your spouse financially please explicitly state this to your future spouse and their family. We come to know that men and their families are searching for working women so that they can come into their family and support the family at large especially with finances.
In Islam, women have no such duty or responsibility. If a woman earns it's her own money. If she decides to support her husband and his family that's a good deed but not an obligation and she cannot be forced or guilt tripped into doing this. There are men and families who need women to work and support the household. We have to accept the fact that there are Muslim families that need many working members to keep the family afloat or even to hardly make ends meet. If you want to continue to work, not help spouse financially and want him to take absolute financial responsibility and also do house work let him know this clearly. So that the brother/potential can make an informed decision as well.
Many brothers don't want to do any house work if they are taking 100% financial responsibility of the household. Discuss gender roles and expectations. Financial difficulty and vague responsibility around finances after marriage is a reason for a lot of divorces. Failing to have clarity about this issue from men and women is destroying a lot of lives. Know what you want and know what level of service you can give before promising and before stepping into marriage. Don't FORCE your spouse to do something after marriage. If you are honest, the other party will make an informed choice before marrying you and will not be disappointed. Make your expectations from your spouse known to them. Explicitly state them. And if you are making promises make sure you can keep them and those are not mere meaningless words. Although, don't live life thinking that things will remain the same. Dynamics change, financial situations change, you as a person will definitely change, your capabilities and health changes, and so does the fact whether you get blessed with kids in 5 years or 15 years. Fact is you aren't going to be the same person with the same outlook on life (save some solid ground for Aqeedah and Deen) and the same wishes and desires when you were engaged to a few or several years into the marriage. Unfortunately many times couples fail to be flexible or compromising or understanding. Choose a man who shows Rehma, who steps up when needed, who doesn't gaslight. And be a similar woman. Guide each other to Jannah, you both are in that together as a team.
3. The worst thing you can do as a parent or guardian to your daughter/s is to constantly tell them that THIS IS NOT THEIR HOME and their real home is the home of their in-laws.
Because once they do marry and go to their in-laws they are told the same thing. That this is not their real home. Their real home is the home of their parents. This results in Muslim daughters having no sense of belonging or a place to call HOME. Their anchor, their place of refuge and their paradise on Earth is an illusion. Their safe space and their safe haven is nil, zero, and nonexistent.
This idea that daughter's real home is the home she is married into has zero basis in Islam and has been adopted by polytheist religions where the daughter is literally donated to the other family in marriage. And she is expected to leave her in-laws only as a dead person and not before that.
"Doli mein gayi ho - doley mein hi wapis ana"
(Left our home in wedding carriage - return only in a casket not before - basically asking her to put up with everything to make this marriage work)
"Kanya Daan"
(Donating Daughter/Female)
"Paraya-Dhan"
(Someone else's property/Treasure)
While our beautiful Islam even after marriage, her father and her brothers remain her Wali, her guardians and her caretakers. They are allowed to intermediate, help, rescue her and facilitate to annul her marriage if there is abuse. Islam doesn't believe in daughters exiting marriage as a dead person. Muslim parents stop using emotionally abusive sentences like
"Yeh Shauq sasural mein purey karlena"
"Yeh sasural jakey humein sharminda karegi"
"Apne miya ke saath ghoomna"
Please facilitate things for your daughters. Facilitate travel within your means and with safety, encourage her and empower her with words, tell her you trust her to live an emotionally healthy married life, fathers and brothers need to step in and facilitate safe travel (picking and dropping) for their daughters and sisters.
Teach your daughters to be kind and respectful but also teach them when to fight back, stand up and not tolerate abuse of any kind. If she wants to meet a friend, wants to attend a marriage or a party instead of shutting down her basic social requirements as a human make sure you drop her, give her a healthy time to enjoy the celebration and pick her back up without cribbing and making this seem like a big deal. (To Be Continued)

Email:------Omarbarkan4u@gmail.com