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Understanding relationships  

December 23, 2019 | Fazil Nazir

 

We as human beings build relationships with other people. The motive of association may be different for all the people however; the universality of the reason remains the same – security and survival. In common parlance, I’m talking parents, siblings, relatives, friends, neighbors, in-laws, co-workers and other official relationships arising from legal obligations depending on the situation. We can categorize the relationships on individual level, group level and on national level.
When a person comes into an association with other person, we say it is a relationship at individual level. For example when make a friend at a primary school. In the next level, when a group of persons forms a contact with other group to carry their common goals. For example two different companies want to merge to carry their common goals. All nations have their own foreign affairs ministry who decides how to build relationships with other countries in the world.
We have talked here about the relationships built at each level. There is a proper phase or cycle in relationships at all levels. There are different phases in relationships according to the situation depending on the people, policies, taste etc. The most common in all the stages of relationships includes initiation of contact, meeting and engagement, communication and commitment, conflict and sides, conflict resolution /reconciliation.
We all now understand that why we need a relationship irrespective of the levels. Some people are good in maintaining the relationships with the other people however there is other section of the people who fail to maintain the contact with the already people known to them irrespective of the time when they first met with each other.

Projection in our relationships.

People all around the world have different thinking, reasoning, behaviour, aptitude, learning, experiences, and opinions. Based on their knowledge they can agree and disagree on certain statements/topics. We also have other factors like environment, culture, religion that moulds our mental outlook. As a result, people have tendency to make assumptions on certain areas, we are all born with such naivety to some extent.
Unfortunately, making assumptions – that is closely linked to something called as a psychological projection. With age it grows with habit and can turn to chronic projector. Such people have to deal with unpleasant emotions like, anger, disappointment, resentment and prejudice.
Literally, projection is the act or technique of defending oneself against unpleasant impulses by denying their existence in oneself, while attributing them to others. It is a defense mechanism that is characterized by projecting unwanted feelings into other people.

Let’s try to understand projection with some examples.
1.Hate: With no apparent reason, you “dislike” or “hate” another person that is in your contact.
2.Labeling: You try to label people irrespective of their physical appearance that is displeasing you.
3.I can do it and others can do the same: Have you come across with unrealistic commercial advertisements that say I’ve earned $1,500 overnight, you can earn too. It fails to explain that everyone has a different level of capability.
4.“He/she is having an affair”: the fear that your partner/spouse is having an affair or is untrustworthy is often a reflection of the way you feel about yourself.
To put this in a nutshell, forming bias, prejudice with another people/entity/nation with no realistic fact that means you are projecting. It will finally spoil the relationship.
In India, our mental look towards the relationships with the prism of projection is determined by the different cultures and languages. These cultures have given their own space to project about the people.
There is no rule of thumb that will help you to get rid of it however, there are certain ways that will improve our outlook and approach towards our relationships from spoiling.
Replacing negative thoughts with positive affirmations.
Writing the negative emotions on the paper and then tear it or burn it.
Building rational engagement and logical approach towards relationships.
Reading, listening about the negative thoughts and improvising the positive ones.
Visit to Social workers, or therapist if needed.
Talking the same with the other people who understand you that will bring more insights to improve you.


Email:—-fazilalwayshere@gmail.com

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Understanding relationships  

December 23, 2019 | Fazil Nazir

 

We as human beings build relationships with other people. The motive of association may be different for all the people however; the universality of the reason remains the same – security and survival. In common parlance, I’m talking parents, siblings, relatives, friends, neighbors, in-laws, co-workers and other official relationships arising from legal obligations depending on the situation. We can categorize the relationships on individual level, group level and on national level.
When a person comes into an association with other person, we say it is a relationship at individual level. For example when make a friend at a primary school. In the next level, when a group of persons forms a contact with other group to carry their common goals. For example two different companies want to merge to carry their common goals. All nations have their own foreign affairs ministry who decides how to build relationships with other countries in the world.
We have talked here about the relationships built at each level. There is a proper phase or cycle in relationships at all levels. There are different phases in relationships according to the situation depending on the people, policies, taste etc. The most common in all the stages of relationships includes initiation of contact, meeting and engagement, communication and commitment, conflict and sides, conflict resolution /reconciliation.
We all now understand that why we need a relationship irrespective of the levels. Some people are good in maintaining the relationships with the other people however there is other section of the people who fail to maintain the contact with the already people known to them irrespective of the time when they first met with each other.

Projection in our relationships.

People all around the world have different thinking, reasoning, behaviour, aptitude, learning, experiences, and opinions. Based on their knowledge they can agree and disagree on certain statements/topics. We also have other factors like environment, culture, religion that moulds our mental outlook. As a result, people have tendency to make assumptions on certain areas, we are all born with such naivety to some extent.
Unfortunately, making assumptions – that is closely linked to something called as a psychological projection. With age it grows with habit and can turn to chronic projector. Such people have to deal with unpleasant emotions like, anger, disappointment, resentment and prejudice.
Literally, projection is the act or technique of defending oneself against unpleasant impulses by denying their existence in oneself, while attributing them to others. It is a defense mechanism that is characterized by projecting unwanted feelings into other people.

Let’s try to understand projection with some examples.
1.Hate: With no apparent reason, you “dislike” or “hate” another person that is in your contact.
2.Labeling: You try to label people irrespective of their physical appearance that is displeasing you.
3.I can do it and others can do the same: Have you come across with unrealistic commercial advertisements that say I’ve earned $1,500 overnight, you can earn too. It fails to explain that everyone has a different level of capability.
4.“He/she is having an affair”: the fear that your partner/spouse is having an affair or is untrustworthy is often a reflection of the way you feel about yourself.
To put this in a nutshell, forming bias, prejudice with another people/entity/nation with no realistic fact that means you are projecting. It will finally spoil the relationship.
In India, our mental look towards the relationships with the prism of projection is determined by the different cultures and languages. These cultures have given their own space to project about the people.
There is no rule of thumb that will help you to get rid of it however, there are certain ways that will improve our outlook and approach towards our relationships from spoiling.
Replacing negative thoughts with positive affirmations.
Writing the negative emotions on the paper and then tear it or burn it.
Building rational engagement and logical approach towards relationships.
Reading, listening about the negative thoughts and improvising the positive ones.
Visit to Social workers, or therapist if needed.
Talking the same with the other people who understand you that will bring more insights to improve you.


Email:—-fazilalwayshere@gmail.com


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Owner, Printer, Publisher, Editor: Farooq Ahmad Wani
Legal Advisor: M.J. Hubi
Printed at: Abid Enterprizes, Zainkote Srinagar
Published from: Gulshanabad Chraresharief Budgam
RNI No.: JKENG/2010/33802
Office No’s: 0194-2451076, 9622924716 , 9419400056
Postal Regd No: SK/135/2010-2019
Administrative Office: Abi Guzer Srinagar

© Copyright 2018 brighterkashmir.com All Rights Reserved.