Tawakkul is an Arabic word which means "Trusting Allah's Plan". It is understanding that Allah has put us in this world temporarily to face the test and all of the good and bad happening to us is part of that test. The actual success is attaining the pleasure of Allah, not the results in this temporary world. The hardships and sufferings we endure throughout life, enduring them with contentment without a word of complaint or without being disheartened in any way is a part of our job. Allah (s.w.t) says, “Whoever relies on Allah (has Tawakkul), He is sufficient for him” (At-Talaaq 65:3). Thus, Tawakkul is a natural corollary of true faith and is one of the evidences (Shahada) of faith. We know that life hits each one of us differently. No one lives a perfectly perfect straight life, we all know it consists of so many roller coaster rides. I was a free spirited girl, who lived her life with no worries until my father was there for me. I never knew what financial crunches, mental balance, compromise and so and so was really like because papa used to fill all the voids. I was in my last year of bachelor’s and papa badly wanted to see me graduating. He usually used to say, “Top the graduation and I will get you whatever you want”. It was the month of Ramadhan, On June 4, 2018 my man left for heavenly abode, his was a sudden death and I felt my world has been devastated.
The most difficult thing I faced in my life was to face the dead body of my beloved father, the one who was my strength and my support system in life. I was numb and angry with Allah (May Allah forgive me) with why he had to take my dad? I was unstable for days, got flashbacks of everything. Those times I faced were hardest, as everything was messed, be it professional life, personal life, or the social life. A week after dad left for heavenly abode, I woke up to the news that our last two semesters have been combined and the date sheet of same was also released. I felt frustrated. I was depressed to the extent where in I hated even the way I am breathing and I wanted my breaths to stop. I remember getting up in the morning and waking up to hearing his (my papa’s) recitation of Quranic verses everyday and how he never missed salah. I felt this sense of doubt in me, started browsing and reading few topics and Islamic videos on “what passing away of a beloved in r-Ramadhan is”, and thereby read what ‘Tawakkul’ is. I felt how bad I have been for doubting Allah’s decision, I got up and could feel my legs shaking and offered salah, seeked Allah’s forgiveness, guidance and asked almighty to bless my papa with the highest ranks in jannat ul firdaus (Aameen).
I wasn’t even ready to face the two semesters at once, everyone around be it my teachers, friends or family supported like anything but I wasn’t ready to face it. One fine night, I got flashback of how papa said, “Top the graduation and I will get you whatever you want”, I woke up, cried bad and then felt Allah is the only one who will get me through this. It was 2:30 a.m, I stood up, offered salah and opened the book to read as my exams were scheduled to be held the next week. I remember opening the book, turning the page and noticed tears flowing down like anything without a stop. It sounds cliche, but there's no other way to say it that “it is what it is”. I looked above and asked Allah’s help to get me through this difficult phase, Alhumdulillah I got the grip over studies, spent nights days preparing for the exams. To cut it short, I faced the exams and gave my best and yeah, managed to top the course, Alhumdulillah. The day results were declared I badly wanted to tell my man, “Papa, your daughter did it”, I closed my eyes did same and thanked Allah for everything. Next, I topped my Master’s course also, alhumdulillah. In the end, Allah is not going to ask me how many worldly degrees I got, which rank I got and stuff, what matters is “your deeds”. I know, It is very difficult to lose the people in life you could trust your life with, sometimes you even lose parts of yourself with them. I know all of us have lost someone and it really hurts, we may have lost them suddenly, unexpectedly or maybe bit by bit until all the pieces are gone.
Sometimes it becomes hard to constantly put a smile on your face when you are wearing a heavy heart and every passing second takes forever to end. Sometimes it takes so much energy to get up and face the world, but always remember, ?? ??? ????? ???? (“indeed with hardship comes ease”, 94:5) and ??? ????????? ??????? ??????? ?????? ????????? (“Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear”, 2:286). There is so much that I went through and is difficult to narrate here. Life doesn’t stop, it goes on, our hearts continue to beat until Allah has willed. What I want to tell you people is that without Allah it wasn’t possible, trust Allah with your life, trust and have faith in Almighty’s decision. I would have died in depression if Allah wouldn’t have guided and strengthened me throughout. Always remember you are stronger than the storm, and whatever happens in life makes you stronger and makes you feel that you can survive anything. I am no perfectionist but I am in a learning phase. We all have sinned but believe me the best of us are those who repent and have Tawakkul which is indeed the missing peace in the journey of life. The benefits of tawakkul are so many, you hand over to Allah that which burdens your heart and mind. We realize that we are not broken, abandoned, or forgotten, but that Allah has actually given us exactly what we need. Knowing this, the believer acknowledges with certainty and confidence, “And my success is not but through Allah. ( To Be Continued)

Writer is a Gold Medalist Bachelor's of Information Technology KU,
and also writer is Gold Medalist Master's of Information Technology IUST

Email:----mir.iqra1312@gmail.com