In our valley, what was once a beautiful and sacred bond of marriage has sadly become a heavy burden, especially for our daughters. This pure institution—meant to bring peace, companionship, and stability—has been hijacked by materialism, greed, and an ever-growing culture of show-off. Lavish customs, meaningless traditions, and extravagant demands have turned marriage into a nightmare for many families, particularly those who are financially weak.

Countless Kashmiri daughters remain unmarried, not due to a lack of character, faith, or education, but simply because their families cannot meet the escalating societal expectations. Fathers, unable to fulfill these unrealistic demands, live in constant stress and helplessness. They silently watch their daughters grow older, burdened by the inability to afford luxurious wedding functions, gold dowries, and designer clothes.
Society’s expectations have become harsh and unforgiving. A simple, modest wedding is now considered shameful. Families who choose simplicity face mockery and disrespect, and the daughters bear the emotional weight, often feeling like a burden. As a result, thousands of young women remain unmarried despite being of suitable age. Reports indicate that over 65,000 girls in Kashmir have crossed the typical marriageable age, with around 45,000 unmarried women over 30 just in Srinagar alone. These are not mere numbers—they are real lives, filled with dreams, dignity, and hopes for a future.
Another major factor in this crisis is the unrealistic demands placed on grooms. Many families insist that the groom must be a government employee, own a luxury home, earn a high income, and belong to an influential family. While seeking a good life partner is natural, these expectations have far exceeded reasonable limits, making it difficult for many sincere and capable young men to marry, regardless of their character or financial stability.
This mindset stands in stark contrast to the teachings of Islam. The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) warned: “When Nikkah becomes expensive, adultery becomes easy; and when Nikkah becomes simple, adultery becomes expensive.” This means that making marriage complicated and costly pushes people towards sin, while simplicity makes sin more difficult. Today, we witness the bitter consequences of these misguided trends—the rise in immoral relationships, adultery, and violence is not merely a result of poor morals, but also because society has blocked the halal path while opening the doors wide to haram.
We are destroying the foundation of our society by prioritizing luxury weddings over simple Islamic marriages. The growing list of lavish customs—such as "gewan weal," extravagant meat dishes, decorative show-offs, and other meaningless rituals—serve only to impress guests, placing immense financial strain on families. Many even fall into debt, sacrificing their dignity to meet these expectations.
Such extravagance is condemned by the Holy Qur’an: “Extravagant people are brothers of Satan” (Surah Al-Isra 17:27). This verse warns us that wasteful spending to impress others is not only financially harmful but spiritually dangerous, removing blessings from the marriage and turning a sacred bond into a commercial transaction.
If we truly want to protect our daughters, youth, and society, urgent change is necessary. We must return to the simplicity and dignity of Islamic marriages. Marriage should be based on taqwa (God-consciousness), compatibility, and character—not on wealth, status, or show-off culture. We must teach our youth that a pious partner is far better than a rich one, and a simple home filled with love and faith is superior to a palace of pride and arrogance.
Our community must take a firm stand. Let us stop judging people by the extravagance of their weddings. Let us not mock simple marriages but celebrate and normalize them as the true tradition. Support those who choose simplicity, and reject social isolation of modest families. Imams, scholars, elders, and youth must all raise their voices to encourage this change. Schools, mosques, and community centers should educate people about the importance of simple, halal, and dignified marriages.
Every girl deserves a chance to begin a new life with respect—not to be labeled a burden because her family cannot afford unnecessary customs. Every boy deserves to marry based on piety and sincerity, not just his job or social standing. Marriage should be a blessing, not a cause of debt, dishonor, or disobedience to Islamic principles.
Let us break these chains of societal expectations. Let us return to the Sunnah. Let us make marriage easy and adultery difficult—only then can we protect our daughters, our faith, and our future.

Email:--------------- rahilaali951@gmail.com