You must have heard the name, surely?

And I don't think there is someone out there in the open who has never heard the name of the esteemed Lady Biryani, and is not an admirer of her delicious virtues?
Except for me!
As my age keeps decreasing day by day, the number of invitation cards arriving at home keeps increasing. And in recent days, the number of wedding and reception cards I receive is so great that I do not carry that many currency notes in my pockets. (Though nowadays Google Pay gets the job done.)
The moment an invitation card arrives, the chime of a bell in my heart makes my nervousness rise. Every day there is a feast somewhere. Although I am mostly busy and in fact, most of the times forgetful, I very often cannot attend, yet whenever it becomes possible, I do prefer to participate, so that relationships, contacts and kinship remain alive. After all, in the final journey, the four shoulders will also come from there only.
The region we live in is that part of Maharashtra’s Vidarbha whose borders embrace Telangana, Andhra Pradesh and Karnataka in the south. In this regard, our area is greatly influenced by these states in terms of culture and tradition.
And especially in matters of food, the influence is tremendous. Whether it is a wedding, a reception, an aqeeqah, or a recovery feast, Biryani has become an essential element of every kind of invitation.
If I talk about my own city, Biryani is something that has taken the form of a phantom or a monstrous spirit. Take me, for instance: before going to any invitation, a shiver takes hold of me at the mere thought that perhaps a conspiracy has been hatched to make me meet Lady Biryani once again. And when I reach the venue, my suspicion turns out to be absolutely correct. There Miss Biryani peeks out at me from pots and plates, and laughing loudly says, “So dear fellow, here I am again. The more you try to escape me, like the world itself, the more I will follow behind you. How long will you manage to avoid me?”
I do not know exactly what Biryani is, but one special thing about it is that if the season is winter, then by the time the Biryani travels from the pot to the plate, two degrees of its steam have already escaped. Whereas the real delight of Biryani lies only in eating it hot, so hot that waves of steam rise from it, and that too the first steam!
With other dishes, this is not the case. Take pulao, for example. Pulao does not cool down as quickly as Biryani does. One reason might be that pulao is masculine whereas Biryani is feminine. And Biryani is the only feminine being I am weary of to the point of utter aversion.
If you travel westward from our region toward some of the districts stretching toward Khandesh, such as Akola, Amravati, etc., you will find that Tahari and Pulao are far more common. But in Yavatmal district; Pusad, Umarkhed and further still as you advance toward Nanded, the area gradually grows more like Andhra Pradesh and Telangana. Regionally this area is called Marathwada. There the prevalence of Biryani is enormous. No matter which economic class a household belongs to, Biryani has become an indispensable feature of their feasts.
Whether you attend the feast or not, Miss Biryani will certainly be present to host you. If the hosts’ pockets allow, they provide other options alongside Biryani, giving those who do not favor Biryani a chance to be pleased at attending the feast. Otherwise, well, hosts shrug their shoulders. They have done their duty by inviting you; if you do not eat Biryani, why should they tolerate this fuss of yours? This Biryani has so distressed me that at the mere mention of her name, goosebumps rise on my skin. As soon as an invitation arrives, I begin to wonder what dish must have been prepared. Surely it won’t be Biryani again?
I do not even wish to think about Biryani, but whenever I go, my fear proves ninety percent true. I cannot understand what kind of boundless love the hosts have for Biryani that even thinking of any other dish seems sinful to them.
From this one thing becomes clear: just as Biryani has its special qualities, it also has some negative traits. And among these negative traits is this one: compared to other dishes, Biryani has less consumption. If you observe, Pulao has more consumption value, while Biryani has less. Although I do not believe that the hosts, those who have organized feasts, weddings, receptions, or ceremonies, do this deliberately. But nevertheless, this aspect cannot be ignored. Regardless of the season in which Biryani is eaten, it keeps its own flavor. Every Biryani has a different taste, because the method of preparation varies. I have already said before that since Biryani is feminine, her whims are many. If the ratio of spices shifts even slightly, her flavor changes entirely.
With Pulao or Tahari, this is not so. They have enough allowance that a slight difference in her taste gets absorbed in the taste of the meat. But Biryani does not forgive. This is the delicacy of her temperament.
Now you tell me, how are we to rid ourselves of Biryani?
God forbid the lovers of Biryani decide to rid themselves of me and deprive me of invitations altogether. If that happens, I shall lose the best opportunity for companionship and gatherings, something I do not wish at all.
Therefore, don't forget to invite me; for your sake, I shall make up with Biryani.

Email:-------------------------hasnainaaqib1@gmail.com