A short video recently went viral in Kashmir. A pre-teen schoolboy, standing before television cameras, criticized the education minister over the absence of adequate cooling arrangements in schools. Within hours, social media had delivered its verdict. Some celebrated the child as fearless and articulate. Others questioned his upbringing and wondered whether children should be encouraged to publicly comment on government policies.
The real debate, however, lies elsewhere. This is not about one child. Nor is it about one minister. It is about teaching kids respect for their elders if we fail in this duty, imagine the kind of society we are shaping and the values we are passing to the next generation. The child may have voiced a genuine grievance. Kashmir's climate is changing. Heatwaves are becoming more frequent and classrooms increasingly uncomfortable. Safe and temperature-controlled learning spaces are gradually becoming a necessity rather than a luxury. Citizens have every right to expect governments to provide suitable educational infrastructure. But an equally important question deserves attention. Should a school-going child be placed before cameras and microphones to publicly criticize a political authority?
There is a distinction between giving children a voice and making them participants in public controversies. A child is still emotionally and intellectually developing. He may sincerely express what he feels, but children also absorb, imitate and reproduce what they hear around them. Their opinions are often reflections of conversations taking place at home, in neighbourhoods, on television and increasingly on social media. As one thoughtful observer aptly remarked, children are like mirrors. They reflect the words, attitudes and behaviour of the adults around them. When a child speaks harshly or disrespectfully, it is rarely the child's failure alone. More often, it reflects the environment in which the child is growing. The home remains the child's first school, and parents remain the first teachers. Before children learn from textbooks, they learn from conversations at the dining table.
If parents habitually ridicule teachers, mock public officials, belittle neighbours or speak contemptuously about elders, children internalize these behaviours long before they understand their consequences. Conversely, when parents disagree respectfully, children learn that disagreement need not become disrespect. That is perhaps the forgotten syllabus of modern education. However, fairness demands that we do not place the entire burden upon parents alone. Every child grows up in a world much larger than the home. Friends, classmates, social media influencers, entertainment platforms, YouTube, television and the internet shape attitude every single day. Today's children spend as much time before screens as they once spent with grandparents.
There is no English word that fully captures the richness of the Islamic concept of **Akhlaq (اَخلاق)**. It encompasses character, manners, conduct, humility, compassion, integrity, courtesy and moral excellence. A child may excel academically, yet if his *akhlaq* is deficient, society ultimately questions the values instilled at home. In Kashmir, we often hear the saying, **"Yi chhu mālis mōj peth gōmut"**—meaning, *the child has inherited these traits from his or her parents. * Whether fair or unfair, society instinctively associates a child's behaviour with parental upbringing. Every act of courtesy or rudeness becomes, in effect, a silent report card on the home in which that child was raised. This should serve as a wake-up call for all parents. Beyond providing education, comfort and opportunities, are we consciously nurturing *akhlaq*? Are we teaching our children patience, respect, humility, gratitude and dignity in speech—not merely through advice, but through our own daily example? In the end, children do not become what we tell them to be; they become what they consistently see us being.
Many parents openly admit another reality. The traditional joint family, where grandparents, uncles and aunts collectively nurtured children's manners and values, has steadily given way to nuclear families. Working parents often leave children in daycare or under the supervision of domestic helpers. Time for meaningful family conversations has shrunk dramatically. By adolescence, many parents discover that their influence has weakened while digital media has become the dominant teacher. Perhaps the greatest challenge of our times is not merely inadequate parenting and upbringings. It is a culture of unlimited freedom without corresponding accountability. Many teachers and parents today quietly acknowledge hearing statements from children that would have been unimaginable a generation ago: emotional blackmail, threats of self-harm if denied wishes, open defiance of authority, and complete rejection of discipline. Such behaviour is no longer confined to isolated households; it is increasingly becoming a social phenomenon. The issue therefore extends far beyond one viral video.
The media too must introspect. Freedom of the press carries with it ethical responsibilities. Sensitive incidents involving children deserve careful handling. Responsible journalism should protect children rather than expose them to nationwide scrutiny. Public circulation of such videos may unintentionally affect a child's emotional well-being, identity and future. A child who goes viral today must continue living with that digital footprint tomorrow. Journalists have every right to investigate school infrastructure. They can interview parents, teachers, educationists, engineers and officials. They can hold governments accountable through evidence-based reporting. But placing microphones before impressionable children on politically charged issues raises ethical concerns that deserve serious professional reflection.
This does not mean children should remain silent, inexpressive, soulless. Children have every right to express concerns affecting their education. Schools should encourage student councils, structured dialogues, debates, suggestion forums and interactions with administrators. Their voices matter. Yet the voice must be accompanied by values, manners, how to communicate on a grievance or express displeasure or register discontentment. The objective of education is not merely to produce confident speakers but responsible citizens. Respect, after all, is not blind obedience. Respect does not prohibit criticism. It refines criticism. One may strongly disagree without humiliating another person. One may question authority without abandoning courtesy. This distinction is the hallmark of a civilized society.
Our own religious and cultural traditions have always emphasized this balance. Islam repeatedly commands believers to honour parents, elders and teachers, to lower the wing of humility, and to speak kindly. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “He is not one of us who does not show mercy to our young and respect to our elders." Equally, Islam encourages speaking the truth with wisdom, justice and dignity. Truth and respect are never contradictory; they complement one another. Character formation therefore cannot be outsourced. Parents must model respectful behaviour. Teachers must reinforce it. Schools must consciously include value education alongside academic excellence. Religious institutions must nurture humility. The media must protect childhood. Government must create safe and respectful channels through which students can communicate genuine grievances. Society as a whole must remember that the next generation is always watching.
Children hear what we say. More importantly, they watch what we do. The viral boy is not the real story. He is merely a mirror reflecting the values, habits, upbringing, parenting and contradictions of the society that raised him. If we applaud confrontation but neglect character, encourage expression but ignore etiquette, celebrate publicity while forgetting humility, we should not be surprised by the society we eventually inherit. Air-conditioners may cool classrooms. Only values can cool tempers. Buildings educate the mind. Families, schools and communities educate the heart. The true syllabus of respect begins at home, is strengthened in school, refined by faith, and perfected by society. It is perhaps the most important lesson our children will ever learn.

Email:--------------------------------------drfiazfazili@gmail.com