The evolution of marriage traditions in the Kashmir reflects a shift from intimate, family-centered gatherings to grand, often extravagant celebrations. Historically, weddings were modest, community-oriented affairs focused on the spiritual and familial aspects of marriage. The ceremony, deeply rooted in cultural and religious values, aimed to unite two families with simplicity and sincerity. Close friends and relatives would gather to witness the couple’s union, emphasizing family bonds over material display.

In recent years, however, weddings have transformed into lavish events, often emulating styles seen on social media and in Bollywood, where elaborate décor, grand venues, and luxurious feasts take center stage. This shift has been influenced by globalization, rising incomes, and increased social expectations, leading families to prioritize prestige over the essence of marriage. Expenses have soared, with families spending large sums on decorations, designer attire, and extended ceremonies, transforming what was once a private enevent into a social showcase.
This trend has raised concerns within the community, especially for families who feel pressured to meet societal expectations despite financial limitations. Many view this commercialization as a drift away from the true purpose of marriage, which Islam and traditional hold as a sacred bond rather than an opportunity for display. The Quran and Hadith emphasize simplicity and modesty in marriage, discouraging extravagance and financial burden. Here are some key references:
“And marry those among you who are single and those who are fit among your female slaves. If they are poor, Allah will enrich them out of his bounty. And Allah is All-Sufficient for his creatures’ needs, All-Knowing.” Surah An-Nur (24:32)
This verse encourages marriage and reassures that financial status should not be an obstacle, as Allah provides for those who seek a lawful union.
“And among His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find tranquility in them; and He has placed between you love and mercy. Indeed, in that are signs for people who reflect.” Surah Ar-Rum (30-21)
This verse highlights the spiritual purpose of marriage, focusing on love, mercy, and companionship rather than materialistic displays.
Simple marriage is Blessed- The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) Said, “The best marriage is one which is easiest.” (Sunan Ibn Majah)
This Hadith emphasizes that the best marriage is one conducted with simplicity and minimal financial strain, encouraging modest ceremonies.

Avoiding Dowry Excess

The prophet (PBUH) is also reported to have said, “The most blessed Nikah (Marriage) is the one with least expanses.” (Musnad Ahmad)
This emphasizes that the blessings of a marriage do not come from lavish expanses but from following a modest approach.
Mahr (Dowry)

Should be Reasonable

The prophet (PBUH) said, “When one of you gives a wedding feast, let him invite others. Whoever does not accept the invitation has disobeyed Allah and his Massenger.” (Sahih Bukhari)
While the wedding feast (Walimah) is encouraged, simplicity and inclusiveness are emphasized, without any show of extravagance.
Together, these teachings guide Muslims towards focusing on the essence of marriage as a union based on faith, love, and mercy, rather than on material excess.
In the valley today, dowries and elaborate display have turned weddings into financially burdensome events for many families. Traditionally, dowries were simple, intended as a gesture to help the couple begin their life together. However, over time, dowry demands have increased significantly, with families feeling societal pressure to provide expensive gifts, gold, and household items. This has led to immense stress for many, especially those with limited means, who may even go into debt to fulfill these expectations. The dowry burden has also led to delayed marriages, as families struggle to meet escalating demands.
The emphasis on grand displays adds another layer of financial strain. Inspired by media and the rising culture of “Wedding Showbiz,” families often feel compelled to invest in lavish décor, designer attire, and multi-day celebrations to match societal standards. This focus on opulence can overshadow the true essence of marriage, shifting it from a union of love and mutual support to a showcase of wealth. Recognizing these challenges, community leaders and social activists are encouraging simpler, more meaningful weddings, advocating for a return to values that prioritize the couples happiness and future stability over material displays.
Social media has significantly reshaped martial expectations, contributing to the shift from traditional, modest weddings to more elaborate, show-stopping celebrations. Platforms like Instagram, Facebook, and Pinterest are flooded with images of luxurious weddings, often featuring high-end décor, designer outfits, and picturesque venues. As these idealized portrayals circulate widely, couples and families often feel pressure to replicate them, viewing such opulence as a standard rather than an exception. This trend has created a new set of expectations, where a wedding’s visual impact sometimes overshadows the ceremony’s emotional and spiritual significance.
This cultural shift influences not only the wedding day itself but also expectations surrounding dowries, pre-wadding lifestyle. Social media posts showcasing lavish gifts, stunning bridal wear, and luxurious reception venues have made weddings seem like high-stakes productions, where each detail must meet a specific aesthetic standard. The pressure to meet these standards can lead families to prioritize appearance and social statues over financial sensibility, often resulting in increased spending and even debt. In this environment, weddings risk becoming more about the outward display than the inward meaning, distancing couples from the purpose of marriage as a union of love and support.
Community leaders, Social activists, and even some couples are recognizing the potential harm of this trend, advocating for a return to more sincere, and value driven celebrations. By raising awareness about the impact of social media on wedding expectations, they hope to encourage young couples to focus on what truly matters—building a life together founded on love, trust, and understanding. For many, this means opting for simpler ceremonies that honor both tradition and practicality, choosing to celebrate in ways that reflect their values rather than the demands of social media. Through these efforts, they aim to create a cultural environment that values personal meaning over public display, brining weddings back to their core purpose.
The trend of extravagant weddings carries a high financial cost that often goes beyond the wedding day, impacting families’ long-term financial stability. Many families feel compelled to host lavish celebrations, spending substantial amounts on designer attire, elaborate decorations, and multi-day events to meet societal standards. this pressure often leads to families taking out loans or depleting their savings, straining financial resources that could otherwise support essential family needs or future investments. In some cases, families accrue debt that takes years to repay, impacting their financial health and limiting their ability to support other goals
For middle- and lower-income families, this extravagance can be particularly detrimental. In many communities, dowry demands add to the financial burden, with brides’ families often expected to provide costly gifts and financial contributions. This expectation can create significant stress, leading families to stretch their resources beyond what is sustainable. In extreme cases, the financial strain from weddings can affect family relationships, with parents or siblings pressured to contribute to wedding expanses of forgo their own needs. The dowry system, coupled with the high cost of modern weddings, can delay marriages for families who cannot afford the substantial expanses, adding an emotional toll to the financial one.
The impact of wedding extravagance also extends to the newlyweds, who often start their married life under financial strain due to wedding debts or the costs on maintaining a lifestyle showcased during their wedding. This pressure can create marital stress, especially if the couple struggles to meet high expectations established by their wedding. Instead of focusing on building a stable future together, they may find themselves caught in a cycle of debt or pressured to maintain appearances, hindering their ability to save, invest, or make sound financial decisions that could benefit their long-term stability.
Recognizing these issues, community leaders and social activists are working to promote the concept of simpler, more meaningful weddings that align with both cultural values and financial sensibility. By fostering awareness of the hidden costs of extravagant celebrations, these leaders hope to shift the focus back to the essence of marriage—a union founded on love, commitment, and mutual support. Encouraging families to choose modest, value-driven weddings can help alleviate financial strain and set a strong foundation for the couple’s future. With increasing awareness, a cultural shift toward simpler weddings may not only reduce the financial burden on families but also help couples start their married lives with greater stability and peace of mind.
Balancing heritage and modernity in weddings is a challenge many families face today all around the world especially in Kashmir valley. While traditional customs hold deep cultural and spiritual significance, modern influences and social media have introduced new expectations, often emphasizing visual appeal and lavish displays. This balance, however, is not always easy to strike. As couples and families try to incorporate contemporary elements into weddings, they sometimes face pressures that can overshadow the true meaning of the celebration. Finding ways to honor heritage while embracing meaningful aspects of modernity can allow couples to create weddings that are both memorable and grounded in cultural values.
Heritage is an integral part of weddings in many cultures, often marked by specific rituals, attire, and practices passed down through generations. These elements give weddings a unique cultural identity and a sense of continuity, connecting the couple to their roots and families. Traditional customs often focus on values like unity, love, and mutual respect, elements that are central to the purpose of marriage. However, as global influences permeate wedding traditions, some aspects of these customs may be overshadowed by trends that prioritize aesthetics or social prestige. While incorporating modernity can make weddings feel more current and personal, there is a risk of losing the essence of tradition if balance is not carefully maintained modernity, however, does bring valuable elements to the wedding experience, such as inclusivity, personalization, and a focus on the couple’s individual story. For example, couples today often choose to incorporate vows that express their unique commitment or add creative elements like personal decorations or new ways to involve friends and family. This can make the wedding more meaningful and reflective of the couple’s personalities and values. Additionally, modern practices such as photography, videography, and live-streaming allow couples to capture and share their special day in ways that were previously unimaginable, creating lasting memories. Embracing these elements can add to the wedding experience, but it’d essential to approach them in a way that enhances rather than overshadows the ceremony’s culture and spiritual core.
To find a balance, couples and families can aim to prioritize values over aesthetics and focus on what holds real meaning. Instead of adopting every modern trend, couples can selectively integrate elements that complement their heritage, choosing practices that resonate with them personality. For example, a couple might choose a traditional ceremony but add a modern touch by simplifying the guest list or reducing the extravagance of the décor to make the event more intimate. This approach not only respects traditional but also make the wedding feel authentic and manageable. Families can also focus on simplicity and mindfulness, honoring the couple’s future by avoiding excessive financial strain in the name of glamour.
Ultimately, the goal is to create a wedding experience that celebrates the union of two people within the framework of both cultural heritage and individual expression. By balancing traditional values with contemporary touches, couples can enjoy a meaningful wedding that feels both timeless and relevant. This balance can help foster a sense of connection to one’s roots while allowing room for personal growth, adaptability, and expression. In an era where wedding standards are often set by social media, this approach encourages couples to look beyond glamour and find a deeper meaning in their celebration, making it a true reflection of love, commitment, and cultural pride. Through conscious choices, they can create a wedding that honors both the past and the present, setting a foundation for a marriage grounded in values that go beyond more display.

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